No Coincidence

Surely it is no coincidence that the word listen is an anagram of the word silent!

Author Unknown

True Riches

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.

Oscar Wilde

Wisdom

A wicked man who reproaches a virtuous one is like one who looks up and spits at heaven; the spittle soils not the heaven but comes back and defiles his own person.

-- Buddha

Words of Truth

• To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

• Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger.

• Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

• A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.

• Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

• I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

• Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

• People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.

• Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it.

• Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?

• Life is like an onion, you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

• Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

• There are two things I've learned: There is a God. And, I'm not Him.

• Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.

• Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

• When it comes time to die...make sure all you got to do is die.

• Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Fear

Fear won't help you save what you have - It will make you lose what you could become.

Don't Crowd Me

Don’t crowd me.
I need room to grow,
to stretch my wings,
breathe deep and slow;
to look about,
to think things through;
don’t hem me in,
don’t block the view.

Don’t push me;
I need time to grow,
to savor life from day
to day, freedom to go
at my own pace;
leisure to live more thoroughly,
unherded and unhurried, please;
just let me BE.

Don’t stalk me.
Follow where He leads
though it may mean
another path, one needs
one single aim in life:
follow well, work hard,
obedient and faithful. So
Go!—after God.

--Ruth Bell Graham

What You Say Is What You Get

What You SAY is What You Get
How to Speak Your Way to Success
by Jack Canfield, America's Success Coach

In the previous issue of Success Strategies I talked about that in order to be successful, we must first define what success means to us; and that means getting CLEAR about what you want, writing it down, and thinking BIG!

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. You have to believe you have the right stuff, that you are able to pull it off. You have to believe in yourself. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence, or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes – the abilities, inner resources, talents, and skills to create your desired results.

Ultimately, you must learn to control your self-talk, eliminate any negative and limiting beliefs, and maintain a constant state of positive expectations.

Control Your Self-Talk
Researchers have found that the average person thinks as many as 50,000 thoughts a day. Sadly, many of those thoughts are negative — I’m not management material... I’ll never lose weight... It doesn’t matter what I do, nothing ever works out for me. This is what psychologists call victim language. Victim language actually keeps you in a victim state of mind. It is a form of self-hypnosis that lulls you into a belief that you are unlovable and incompetent.

In order to get what you want from life, you need to give up this victim language and start talking to yourself like a winner — I can do it... I know there is a solution... I am smart enough and strong enough to figure this out... Everything I eat helps me maintain my perfect body weight.

You Are Always Programming Your Subconscious Mind
Your subconscious mind is like the crew of a ship. You are its captain. It is your job to give the crew orders. And when you do this, the crew takes everything you say literally. The crew (your subconscious) has no sense of humor. It just blindly follows orders. When you say, “Everything I eat goes straight to my hips,” the crew hears that as an order: Take everything she eats, turn it into fat and put it on her hips. On the other hand, if you say, “Everything I eat helps me maintain my perfect body weight,” the crew will begin to make that into reality by helping you make better food choices, exercise and maintain the right metabolism rate for you body.

This power of your subconscious mind is the reason you must become very vigilant and pay careful attention to your spoken and internal statements. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize they are committing negative self-talk, which is why it is best to enlist another person — your success partner — in monitoring each other’s speaking. You can have a signal for interrupting each other when you use victim language.

Use Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence
One of the most powerful tools for building worthiness and self-confidence is the repetition of positive statements until they become a natural part of the way you think. These “affirmations” act to crowd out and replace the negative orders you have been sending your crew (your subconscious mind) all these years. I suggest that you create a list of 10 to 20 statements that affirm your belief in your worthiness and your ability to create the life of your dreams.

Of course, what to believe is up to you, but here are some examples of affirmations that have worked for others in the past:

I am worthy of love, joy and success.
I am smart and make wise choices
I am loveable and capable.
I can create anything I want.
I am able to solve any problem that comes my way.
I can handle anything that life hands me.
I have all the energy I need to do everything I want to do.
I am attracting all the right people into my life.

Believing in Yourself is an Attitude
Believing in yourself is a choice. It’s an attitude you develop over time. It’s now your responsibility to take charge of your own self-concept and your beliefs. It might help to know that the latest brain research now indicates that with enough positive self-talk and positive visualization combined with the proper training, coaching, and practice, anyone can learn to do almost anything.

You must choose to believe that you can do anything you set your mind to – anything at all – because, in fact, you can!

© 2006 Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield, America’s Success Coach, is the founder and co-creator of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul and the nation's leading authority on Peak Performance. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at www.JackCanfield.com

Inquire into them, that's how to know what things are really true.
Quaeras de dubiis, legem bene discere si vis. -- St. Augustine

The Islands of Life by Rob Kaufman

The Islands of Life

Hawaii is one of my favorite vacation spots, particularly the islands of Maui and Kauai. The people and lifestyle there are so different from here in L.A. Have you ever thought what it might be like to live in Hawaii, or on any island for that matter? If this sounds inviting, picture yourself on a sailboat somewhere in the South Pacific, maybe near Hawaii or Tahiti. It’s a warm summer day, with a brisk wind cutting across your bow. Gliding through deep blue waters, you taste the salty ocean spray tickle your face. Standing at the helm, you are in control, your destiny rests in your hands.

Off on the horizon you eye a small land mass, an island perhaps. You grow curious and steer toward it. Piloting closer you see a scene you’ve seen a thousand times before. People lounging around on the beach, laughing and playing in the surf. Behind them stand tall hotels with all the typical sounds you would expect to hear while on vacation. The people and surroundings look so familiar if you didn’t know you were hundreds of miles away you would think you were back in Hawaii. Then the strangest thing happens. Out of the corner of your eye you see a second island a few miles to the west of this one.

Continuing on course toward the first island you veer a little west to get a better look at this second island. Your gut tightens as you draw closer. There appears to be movement on the shore but you can’t quite make out whether it is people or wild animals. The sounds are so unfamiliar, nothing you have ever heard before. Craning your neck to listen better you still can’t make out whether you hear shrieks of joy or cries of terror. Your heart is racing and your hands tremble. Every bone in your body screams stay away. But curiosity gets the better of you as you head directly toward this ominous second island.

You’re within a thousand yards of shore when out of nowhere you notice a tiny third island. Gripping the wheel tightly you lean into the wind trying to get a closer look at this third uncharted island. As you sail closer your muscles clench. Instead of hearing strange noises from this island you hear dead silence. The island is clearly deserted except for a few wild animals that quietly roam the soft white sands.

These are the islands of life. To which island will you sail? This is the question you must answer as you stand at the helm of your future gripping the wheel with all your strength. The island you choose will shape your destiny. Should you go to the first island where the people and surroundings are familiar? Or, should you take a risk and pilot to the second island, the scary island, where the sounds and figures feel foreign and unnerving? Or, should you sail to the third deserted island where you are guaranteed to be alone for as long as you like?
Most people choose to sail to the first island. This is because we want to surround ourselves with people and situations that are familiar and comfortable. We don’t always enjoy these types of relationships or surroundings. However, we draw comfort in knowing how to negotiate our way through them even if they are painful and unhealthy. This explains why people so often go from one relationship to the next experiencing the same dynamic even though the partner is different. For example, a woman who divorces her husband because he is so controlling may soon find herself dating a new man who is equally if not more controlling. It also explains why people go from one problem situation to another even though the surrounding environment is different. For example, a man may never ask for a raise at work because he doesn’t feel deserving of it. Similarly, he likely will purchase used cars, not because he can’t afford a new one, but because he doesn’t feel worthy of a new car.

People who choose the second island, where the sounds and inhabitants are strange and unfamiliar, often are looking to consciously change old unhealthy patterns and relationships. What makes this island so scary is that the relationships or behaviors are vastly different from ones they had before. For example, a woman who always chooses men to whom she gives and receives nothing in return would feel frightened by a man who gives as much as he receives. This kind of healthy relationship would scare someone who deep down does not feel worthy of this kind of love or affection. Similarly, a quiet and submissive man looking to change these personality traits would sail to the second island. Here he could become more gregarious and assertive, even though the process of changing will be frightening.

People who sail to the third island, the deserted one, do so to feel safe knowing they must be alone. Not because they want to be alone (most prefer a companion) and not because they don’t trust others, They choose to be alone because they know they cannot trust their own judgement in selecting who will be in their life. These people tend to have long histories of very painful unsatisfying relationships and have given up altogether on ever finding a healthy fulfilling one. They have been battered by the stormy seas of life and welcome the safety of isolation.

So where will you sail? Will you play it safe and sail to the first island where the people and situations are all too familiar, regardless of how unhealthy and destructive they may be? Will you look to break free of old patterns that have made you feel miserable for years by steering toward the second island where change is possible but challenging and scary? Or, will you race to the nearest deserted island, secure in the knowledge that isolation will protect you from the evil of others even though loneliness will be your only companion?
Where will you sail? Your destiny rests in your hands.
Pick an island . . . any island. This is the island of your life.

October 2004 - 3
© Rob Kaufman, LCSW



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